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Future World Problems

September 15th, 2010

UPDATE: I’m now running a contest based on this thread, you should check out the latest comic post for more details. I also updated this with more as of Thursday afternoon. THIS IS NOT THE COMPLETE COLLECTION. Merely what I saw when I tried to search for them and pick out some highlights. Go search it on Twitter here to see more.

This morning I started a hashtag on twitter that started the whole world laughing. It’s called #futureworldproblem and here are some posted so far:

  • My super double hyper local blog only has 5 readers. 4 are my robot servants, the last is my mom. #futureworldproblems
  • The dream police start really cracking down. #futureworldproblems
  • Google Wave comes back as an actual tidal wave that wipes out the eastern seaboard. #futureworldproblems
  • My robot is only programmed to serve me single martinis and not doubles. #futureworldproblem
  • Teleporter is on the fritz. Going to have to fly my car to work. #futureworldproblem
  • Using tubes to zoom all over town sometimes makes me a little nauseus. #futureworldproblem
  • The phone in my head doesn’t great reception as the one in my watch and I have to transfer all my contacts manually. #futureworldproblems
  • I forgot where I parked my invisible spaceship. #futureworldproblems
  • Dammit George Jetson’s dumb dog peed on my lawn while muttering something about “ruh roh”. AGAIN. #futureworldproblems
  • The consumer version of the LHC, the Small Hadron Collider, only comes in black, white, and avocado. I wanted sky blue. #futureworldproblems
  • Just found out my girlfriend is a Cylon, but she’s Jewish. So my mom’s happy but Adama is pissed. #futureworldproblems

From @revvoice:

  • My interociter is on the fritz… http://tinyurl.com/2wasbvc #futureworldproblem

From @martyfnday:

  • This meal pill is overcooked! #futureworldproblem
  • The zipper in the only jumpsuit I ever have to wear, ever is jammed. #futureworldproblem
  • President Jeb Bush #futureworldproblems
  • Having TV in the eye is great! Minus the ads that take up your whole field of vision. #badfordrivingflyingcars #futureworldproblems
  • Facebook sure got weird when it mandated images of all of our genitals. #futureworldproblems #yourecrazyforthisonezuck

@Dernjg:

  • Betty White just won’t stop yammering! #futureworldproblems

From @scubaninja:

  • The vacusuck toilet is stuck on suck, and I didn’t notice it until *after* I sat down. #futureworldproblem

From @spkr4thedead51:

  • You mean #wmata is in charge of the global mass transit system? #futureworldproblem
  • Those bastards blew it up #futureworldproblems #amidoingitright?
  • Where the hell is my flying car #futureworldproblems
  • whose idea was it to use dilithium crystals anyway? they fry out every time there’s any sort of power fluctuation! #futureworldproblems
  • Still can’t watch movies in 3D without those stupid fucking glasses #futureworldproblems

From @drewdernavich:

  • What’s the password for my kidneys? #futureworldproblems
  • Google Instant Mother-in-Law has some, um, annoying bugs that need to be worked out. #futureworldproblems
  • Senator Yoko Ono is once again running for re-election unopposed. #futureworldproblems

From @lionthetiger:

  • My twitter feed is stuck in open and keeps blocking my vision. I need to reboot my brain. #futureworldproblems
  • Facebook privacy is “broken” (by design) and is autoposting my every thought to the whole world. #futureworldproblems
  • #Fuck #and #damn #this #twitter #virus #forces #me #to #think #in #hashtags #futureworldproblems

From @JoshRockCity:

  • My iPhone still can’t make any phone calls. #futureworldproblems
  • I just know my flying car is going to fall out of the sky the minute its paid for. #futureworldproblems
  • My X-ray glasses can’t see through underwear anymore either. #futureworldproblems

From @ironsolo:

  • My sex robot is cheating on me with the robot maid.#futureworldproblems

From @bluntcakes:

  • My antigravity moonboots don’t have the 25+ feet bounce in them like they used to. #futureworldproblems
  • My roomba has demanded union representation. #futureworldproblems

@chrisimpink:

  • Introducing the new KFC DodecaDown. #futureworldproblems

@Fuzzface01:

  • #futureworldproblems Shortage of trash threatens use of Mr. Fusion worldwide.
  • #futureworldproblems Bacon prices continue to skyrocket.
  • #futureworldproblems Burglar’s Guild gives “Lifetime Achievement Award” to developers of FourSquare.

@tehyosh:

  • My sexbot’s batteries ran out 🙁 #futureworldproblems

@_struct:

  • Flash CS27 keeps crashing on me, argh stupid Adobesoft. #futureworldproblems

@reasrcheratlarge:

  • Taiwan accuses China of hurting it’s solar power production by forming big clouds from the ocean with submarines #futureworldproblems
  • We’ve already gone to Mars twice on vacation; let’s go someplace else this time. #futureworldproblems
  • You just plug yourself in and be grateful Z-39! Don’t you know there are starving robots in Africa?  #futureworldproblems
  • My holodeck cleaning service wants to raise the rates again! #futureworldproblems
  • I hate that the vaccine that cures everything for the rest of my life gave me the sniffles for 15 minutes #futureworldproblems

@Disc0Granny:

  • The line at the DHV (Department of Hover Vehicles) is SO LONG. I had to wait an entire MINUTE yesterday! #futureworldproblems
  • All of Raul Julia’s great works are lost, leaving him remembered as “That guy from Street Fighter” #futureworldproblems
  • Japan genetics experts to discover a way to birth children who look like anime characters. #futureworldproblems

@Drew_knute:

  • #futureworldproblems Ashton Kutcher starring in “Dude, Where’s My Hovercar.”

@Skawtnyc:

  • I don’t have time to teleport down to Radio Shack to buy replacement nuclear cells for my cyborg body. #futureworldproblems

@Sekelsky:

  • I can’t remember what singing sounds like without autotune #futureworldproblems

@tholzerman:

  • I remember when 300 lbs. was obese, not anorexic #futureworldproblems

That gives you some idea of how it works. As of now it’s still going strong, so let’s use just the plural #futureworldproblems moving forward, and see what we can come up with! Add them in the commentsor on Twitter.

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