I’m just cornering the market on escalator jokes.

Watch out for that guy. We haven’t seen the bike sniper in a while, but I thought it was time for a comeback.

In our own way, we all need to be bike snipers. You have to be a little on the offense on your bike, assertive enough to not get run over. This guy is pushing those limits, but there’s an element of that in every cyclist on the road. Some wear it on their sleeve more than others.

Vote!

It’s also the final day to vote for “Best/Worst File Name” on Thursday’s comic. Vote, won’t you?

It’s not often I can fit guns, knives, and coffee in the same comic.

If you like Jimmy the Murderdog (who doesn’t?), limited quantities of the Jimmy The Murderdog shirts are still available here.

Super Art Fight in LA! This coming weekend! Meltdown / Nerdmelt Comics! Be there! Tickets here!

Now available, a new shirt! It’s in preorder, so it’s cheaper now to get it than it will ever be ($15 plus shipping). The only catch is you have to wait until they’re printed, BUT it’s the only time I’ll carry women’s shirt sizes for just about forever. Check it out here or click the image blow:

Are you a badass? If not, why not?

Thanks to Rachel for help with the punchline.

This week is “use all the icons I haven’t used yet” week, and “camera icon” was on the list.

Also, if you own this camera, you should probably own this shirt.

Speaking of shirts, you’re running out of time to preorder the new Professor Internet shirt. Support Caldwell, myself, the Internet, and Sandwiches all in one go!

Another lil’ comic. I kinda like these, it’s an even more limiting format. You?

Or this:

As you can imagine after yesterday’s largely successful collaborative comic/chart, it’s been crazy over here. Something about having the chart posted yesterday show up everywhere on the internet has made me a bit busy, so I’m sorry for the delay posting this comic.

When so many people come to your website for one comic, and then you have to do the next comic, it can be tough to know where to start. Sorry this isn’t a chart. Or can haz cats. Or be about artist attribution. But it’s still instructional, so I guess there’s that.

Behind the scenes, expect more going on around here as I try to desperately keep all you new lovely people around on the site, and thanks so much for reading! And you regular Systemics? You know I love you.

I’d like to dedicate to the person I was talking to while I was writing this, but he might get the wrong idea about it. Did I mention I submitted today’s Hello With Cheese joke? Just sayin’.

And just to point out, this comic is not about being overweight (though the U.S. is getting fatter), it is about guys with a gut and their options. With the right pants, you can easily be fine. But for some reason, especially older men who wear suspenders with belts and hang out at every rest stop on I-95, they are instead hit with the gut dilemma. At some point they must have made a crucial decision, like Picard getting stabbed by a Naussican. They had to decide whether to:

• Getting new pants. But that would mean admitting defeat, or maybe pants cost too much. I’m not sure but not many people appear to have taken this option.
• Let the gut hang over the pants. Therefore allowing for seemingly smaller “waist size” in pants and keeping the pants under the gut at all times (allowing for easier slippage.)
• Bring the gut over the pants. Fred Mertz. The pants are slowly eating him I swear.

I once had a guy tell me that letting a gut hang over your pants can actually cause intestinal issues. I don’t want to look it up but I’ll believe it. I’m gonna go eat a salad.

Stay tuned, the “Venn F-cking diagrams” shirt is coming, along with an Otakon writeup.