Innovative, revolutionary paradigm-shifting, dicking around on the Internet.

I made this comic during the keynote yesterady (before they’d really announced anything new) and I’m amazed how true it is. For all things. Ever. So I posted it on Tumblr just to get it out fast yesterday. Sometimes I post things on my Tumblr, btw.

So tell me, Systemics.  Are you an Apple fan-person? Do you care about all the new stuff? Ever? Never?

If you’re in the Philly area, come say hi at Wizard World Philly! I’m at booth 895 with Super Art Fight. We’re doing Super Art Fight as part of the convention, on Friday at 8:30pm @ Tavern on Broad and again on Sunday at 2pm in room 111.

Also I’ll be premiering a new t-shirt that some of you Jimmy the Murderdog fans will appreciate. It’ll be on the site next week…

So much for cordless devices.

SEE ALSO: The Full Gadget Ratio

UPDATE-UPDATE: I know what you’re thinking. The equation is crap! Here’s how you can help me fix it!

Everything you need to know to calculate the true size of the gadgets you carry. There are way more factors than you may have considered. I invite you to calculate yours, and post in the comments. Use standard metric system for all measurements. As for Planck’s Apple Constant (based on his original work on Planck’s Constant), everyone knows that’s a physical constant used to describe the size of the smallest iPod available used in the pricing of running arm bands and quantum mechanics.

Systemic Harris has helped us better define the Full Gadget Ratio, with an equation that has now been reflected in the above image. Here’s his breakdown:

On the FGR of Mobile Devices:

Clearly, FGR should be a measure of how bulky/inconvenient the object is, amortized over how useful it is. So:

FGR, the base term at first glance should be affine in S,A,B, as these all contribute more or less additively to bulkiness. T is an issue, though for now we can add it in as well. I see lots of people use S*T or some such, which is clearly not right, though my S+T isn’t much better. Really, the question is whether S is a volume, or the bulkiest dimension, or maybe, it’s the largest face divided by the opposite direction (screen size divided by thickness, say). The question is whether S should be a measure of useful dimensions vs. non-useful dimension, like the latter, or a general matter of how bulky something is to carry around, so a simple volume, or the bulkiest dimension. The interaction w/ T then plays into that. Not sure the best way to handle it. The most accurate would be to break S into the three dimensions and apply T directly, recomputing the volume, but that will complicate the device enormously. So for now we leave it linear.

If a device is twice as useful, it’s clearly functionally half as bulky, so divide by U.

Higher H makes it more useful, but how? On the one hand, H should essentially contribute to higher U, as you can’t use it if the battery is dead, so will use it more. But only past a point, as if it can do, say, 24 or 48 hours w/out recharge, it’s not an inconvenience to recharge every so often. So replacing 1/U by (1 + 1/H)/U is good for bulkiness, as low H decreases effective usefulness a lot, but past a point high H is diminishing returns.

Additionally, though, H plays off against A, as the longer it lasts w/out power the less you need to carry the power adapter around. So perhaps replace the A term by A/H, that is, the bulk of the adaptors is reduced by you maybe not needing to carry them around. Really this should be a threshold effect of some kind, though, where either you are carrying the adaptors around or you aren’t, so maybe multiply A by an appropriate shifted Heaviside function of H. Still, the linear approximation is ok for now. And of course, that you rolled chargers & adapters into the same category muddles the issue.

The worry factor increases bulkiness, presumably linearly. But, if newer versions are out, you don’t mind it breaking as much because you want to buy the new one. So there should be a W/N factor in there (where obviously we must count N as the number of generations at least as new as this one, to avoid division by 0). Again, though once it is old enough you don’t worry at all, but this shouldn’t go to 0, so it should be (1+ W/N).

And the constant should definitely be used as a multiplier, to get the units (whatever they are) to come out right.
So maybe:

FGR = (S + T + A/H + B) * (1+1/H)/U * (1 + W/N) * h, or reordered to look a little nicer

FGR = h(1+W/N)(1+1/H)(S+T+A/H+B)/U

This is why I outsource the really mathy stuff. It’s just easier that way.

UPDATE: As always, if you want a print of this comic (or any comic), they are all only $10 at our online store, Hilariawesome.com!

Both times I tried to export / save this file it crashed and I had to re-create it. Sorry for the quality, I had to screen shot while the file was shutting down and export through Photoshop. I think Steve Jobs is after me.

Here is that recap I promised, in the same vein as #100 and #200.  As I said in the post on #300, thank you all for reading, commenting, sending in System in the Wild posts, and doing all the little things you do to support The System.  I notice.

Remember, this, along with all comics, can be purchased as a comic print through HilariAwesome.com! This one comes out to a Super A3/B print (13″ x 19″ paper for all you laymen) that is high quality poster awesomeness.  It may be way bigger than the normal comic, but it’s still the same $10 at HilariAwesome.com!

UPDATE: Systemic Lextrical put together a little “magic bean”, a piece of music based upon this comic. Here it is!

What We’ve Learned Lately by lextrical

In honor of today’s Apple keynote from WWDC, comes this comic about upgrading your technology and gadgets. NOTE: It was really hard to decide when to use the word “dammit”, since it fit so well into every panel.  Obviously, this one kinda picks up where the one about upgrading iPods leaves off.

It’s true. It’s the fucking future.

Btw, today is the last day to preorder a shirt and save $5.  Go do that here!

UPDATE: We’re extending the deadline for preorders through the end of the weekend because that’s how long it’s going to take me to switch over the store from “preorder” to “order”.  Take advantage of this fluke right now!

ANOTHER UPDATE: Systemic Lextrical wrote a song about this comic. You can listen to it here »

It’s a floor wax!  It’s a dessert topping!  Now, it’s both!  This marks our first SitW followup.  Remember this System in the Wild from about a week ago?  Well, newly endoctrinated Systemic Greg (who you should check out on Flickr) sends in this followup.  Same symbol, very different context.  It’s not a bathroom sign in a bowling alley anymore, but an iPhone app to tell you where the nearest bathroom is.  I’d rather see one for ATMs.  Link.

Remember, as always, that you can send your System in the Wild posts to systemcomic@gmail.com and I’ll post them up on the site.  Thanks again, Systemics!

It’s true, I’m now “that guy with the iPhone”.  I hereby vow to not be a huge dick about it.