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The System 403: Paunch Patrol

August 6th, 2010

The System 403: Paunch Patrol

I’d like to dedicate to the person I was talking to while I was writing this, but he might get the wrong idea about it. Did I mention I submitted today’s Hello With Cheese joke? Just sayin’.

And just to point out, this comic is not about being overweight (though the U.S. is getting fatter), it is about guys with a gut and their options. With the right pants, you can easily be fine. But for some reason, especially older men who wear suspenders with belts and hang out at every rest stop on I-95, they are instead hit with the gut dilemma. At some point they must have made a crucial decision, like Picard getting stabbed by a Naussican. They had to decide whether to:

  • Getting new pants. But that would mean admitting defeat, or maybe pants cost too much. I’m not sure but not many people appear to have taken this option.
  • Let the gut hang over the pants. Therefore allowing for seemingly smaller “waist size” in pants and keeping the pants under the gut at all times (allowing for easier slippage.)
  • Bring the gut over the pants. Fred Mertz. The pants are slowly eating him I swear.

I once had a guy tell me that letting a gut hang over your pants can actually cause intestinal issues. I don’t want to look it up but I’ll believe it. I’m gonna go eat a salad.

Stay tuned, the “Venn F-cking diagrams” shirt is coming, along with an Otakon writeup.

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See More Posts About:

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