This was fact-checked thanks to my good friends Spike Jetpack Solomon, Steven Motocross Fluffybutt, Riley Day, and Delilah Whatshername. Yes, they’re all cats. And, while adorable, they don’t give a f*%k about you.

Clearly I now need to make a t-shirt with an adorable cat on it that says “I DON’T CARE IF YOU LIVE OR DIE.” I may just do that.

Speaking of cats, if you like cats on t-shirts, you may want to check out Professor Internet.