Swiss Army Camera!

"Cameras don't take pictures, people take pictures." Ergo, "iPhones don't make calls, people make calls."

However, iPhones do facilitate the process of connecting people to people–in this case, I would assume it's sporadically.

So, given it's non-dependability, there are alternatives: find an iPad, desktop or laptop and e-mail or go back to snail mail (anyone remember that?). But, if it's an emergency, find, wait for it, a payphone. Although it may not be that easy:
"There are fewer than 1 million pay phones left in the United States, down from 1.3 million in 2004 and 2 million in 2000, according to the Federal Communications Commission."

But, if you really want to make a call, find a friend who doesn't care if you use his/her minutes or the friend you were trying to call. Of course, you could ask a stranger, but this is 2011 so consider the consequences of talking to a stranger. Remember what your parents told or still tell you, "Never talk to strangers."

Of course if that were true, how could you possibly even be here? (Think about that one.)

So the real question is, how well does this camera make phone calls. You might have hit on a perfect solution for iPhone users!