Have you ever found words flying out of your mouth that you never thought you’d use? I’m not talking racist or asinine, just stupid? Well, that’s what happened to me. I missed a turn on my bike ride to my doctor’s office, and “Aw, poopturds!” flew out of my mouth. This raised a multitude of questions:

• What’s a poopturd?
• Where did my brain come up with that?
• What ELSE will my brain come up with?
• Wait wait wait. I really did miss that turn. Shitfiddles, I gotta take the next left…

If you have your own stories, add them in the comments, Systemics!

Thanks to Clay, who helped me write this one.

No news would actually be—ooh! How cute!

Have you gotten tickets for Saturday’s Super Art Fight show in NYC? No? I know you haven’t, I’M WATCHING THE TICKET SALES. Buy them here!